Good Lord, I'm Terrible

I am falling behind again. I'm sorry. I do owe you a couple of exclusive blog posts. I hope to make that up before the month is out. Please bear with me. I'm almost at the end of it all.

Things have been moving slowly in my life. I am writing, but not hitting my goal of a thousand words a day. But I am writing as fast as I can in the brief time I have during lunch to write. The Bear is ticking along; slower than I would like. But at least there's forward momentum.

I'm still rereading the series I'm trying to finish soon and making notes as I go. Part of the issue with being a pantser with a brain like mine that only holds on to information for precisely as long as it needs and not a moment longer, is that I write stuff in that I completely forget about it as soon as it's down on paper/use to the plot has been spent.

Add to this the incredibly long gap between writing book two and three, and my brain barely even recognises the story as mine anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite excited about it. There are some scenes that, at least in my head, are really, really cool. I want to paint some of these scenes and probably offer them to my subscribers as pdfs or something. I really need to set aside some time for painting. Heavens, I need to organise myself better.

There are so many things I want to do, and I feel like I just don't have the time to do them. But if I actually hustled, I would get them done. I don't know why it's become so hard for me to get going on these things. It's entirely my fault, of course.

I am just so tired at the end of the work day, all I can manage is to veg-out on my couch and listen to music. I'm not even reading. It's frustrating. And I know it's entirely my own fault. Which adds to the frustration.

BUT!

I am writing, and it's going well, for all the limited time I have for it, and I'm happy about that. Soon, I hope, I will have a bit more time in the evenings to do the things I'm supposed to do for my personal stuff. Every time I sit down to write my blog posts, I get a burst of energy, with a strong desire to go do the things.

Unfortunately, I'm at work, and can't just leave my desk to go do the things I really want to. Man, I have to figure out how to get my ko-fi subscriber numbers up to, like three thousand people a month. At $1.00 each, I'd be able to stay home and write and paint and do stuff I really love.

Three thousand is nothing, right? I can totes do that in a heartbeat.

*sobs*

Okay, I'm done complaining. Things aren't all that bad, and I'm still writing, and that's the largest battle.

Right, I have a blog post for Black Gate Magazine due this evening, the exclusive blog posts to catch up on for my ko-fi subscribers, and more volunteer work to get finished. And, of course, my actual paid work to do. Almost done the wage-slave portion of my day.

Slán go foill!