When I Love What I Hate...

Published on 21 January 2025 at 08:00

Good morning, Readers!

So, I am still watching C-Dramas as my primary non-book or video game source of entertainment. I can't help it. They're so good. Even when they're pretty terrible, they're great. I have just finished watching one, The Story of Kunning Palace, which I absolutely adored... and I'm conflicted about it.

In brief, this story follows a young woman by the name of Jiang Xuening, who became Empress through a series of terrible decisions and heartless plotting, with the end result of her husband dying, a bloody and successful rebellion (led by the deliciously dark former court official Xie Wei and the empress' childhood friend and rejected would-be lover, Yan Lin)...

Xie Wei, played by Zhang Ling He, who is... or may become, the rebel who takes down an empire and is responsible for the Empress' suicide

Yan Lin, played by Zhou Jun Wei, childhood friend of the heroine, who is a good man.. except in the first timeline, when he was a good man and then became a horrible monster.

...And her eventual suicide in order to try and undo the result of the very last of her awful plots - the unfair arrest of the righteous official Zhang Zhe, with whom she was in love (and he with her, it turns out), whose grief and deeply held honour result in his death.

Zhang Zhe, played by Wang Xing Yue, who is always good in whatever timeline he's in. Like, annoyingly good. Like, Paladin levels of rigid good.

And then... she is given a second chance. She awakens as her 18 year old self before she enters the palace, with full knowledge of everything that came before. Or rather, with full knowledge of everything her empress-self "knew" before (she got a good number of things wrong).

It's very much a literal Mary Sue story, because we see the main actress (Bai Lu, who is brilliant and in so many of the dramas I've watched) as the writer who is writing the story we later see unfold. Honestly, not my favourite addition. The drama would have been much better without that part. But whatever, it's still good. And that's not the part I hate (but love... and hate that I love).

We slowly uncover the actual truth of what happened and how things got to be as bad as they did; the mistakes that our heroine makes that led to that terrible result, and we get to watch as she makes different choices, learns to let go of her pre-conceived notions (actually, Xie Wei might have a point... He might not be "good," but he might just be right). And we get to watch the characters around her make different choices as her struggle to do what's right has a ripple effect, and they struggle to do what's right in very difficult situations.

Xie Wei is of particular interest. Which makes sense, since he's the main love interest. This man is the result of an incredibly traumatising childhood, suffers from psychotic breaks when it snows (translated as dementia in the version I watched, but was not that... definitely psychotic episodes) as a result of that trauma - he gets incredibly, unapologetically stab-happy on snowy days - and is on a journey of revenge on behalf of his mother, and the 300 children who lost their lives on the day he was stolen from his home. He is frighteningly clever, scheming, and deceitful. He's also deeply in love with Jiang Xuening, and is petty, jealous and possessive.

Even in the beginning scenes when as the empress, Jiang Xuening trades her life for Zhang Zhe, when she and Xie Wei are obviously enemies, it's clearly played that he never intended for her to die. That her suicide affected him. That he wanted a different ending.

(This is diametrically opposed to Yan Lin, who is the epitome of non-toxic masculinity. Yes, he's in love with Jiang Xuening. But when he sees he's not her choice, though it clearly pains him (brilliantly portrayed, by the way), he opens his hand and lets her go. Good man. He deserves all the accolades... in the new timeline. But back to Xie Wei)

Xie Wei isn't just a scheming intellect, he also feels deeply. Which could be good, but unlike the other two men who are in love with Jiang Xuening (lucky girl), he isn't able to regulate his emotions very well. For this reason, he is quite frightening a good deal of the time, and even a danger to himself. There's one scene where, in a bid to try and win Jiang Xuening over and get her to stop fearing him he... wraps her hand around the hilt of a dagger and drives it into his own torso.

Because that'll work.

That's a perfectly hinged, not at all psychotic thing to do.

It's endearing. Really.

That's an extreme example, but there are plenty of other scenes where he struggles to reign in his jealousy and anger, and gets possessive and scary. It's not that I have a problem with this kind of character. I actually love tormented heroes in fiction... if my own writing didn't make that obvious.

But I do have a problem in this drama because... There is a lot of non-consensual kissing. It makes sense for the character, but I have an issue with how the drama handles it. It's portrayed as something romantic. The angles, the music... we're supposed to be on his side and he forces his lips on someone else.

And I, being a weirdo, hate it AND STILL lap it up. Looking at it from a distance, I completely get the appeal of being so incredibly desirable to someone that they're barely able to control themselves in your presence. In theory. I imagine it must be quite flattering. But lack of consent in real life is not romantic at all. It's assault.

As an aside, if anyone tried that on me IRL, I would absolutely fight back. I have teeth. There would be blood.

Of course, Jiang Xuening is attracted to Xie Wei, though she won't admit it, and is even in love with him before she realised it (and even longer before she finally admits it). But even still. It's not romantic. I hate that it's portrayed as something that is.

It's a common trope in these dramas, I'm noticing. Not all, Wonderland of Love was not like this. Nor is the one I'm currently watching (so far. knock on wood). But I have seen plenty of clips of non-consensual kissing in various dramas both set in the modern world and not.

Anyway, I hate it.

And yet... I love it.

Thank goodness it's fiction, and I can tell the difference. Just in case you need to hear this, it's more than alright to like something in fiction that you would absolutely not tolerate in real life.

I will add that Xie Wei does work on himself. He loses his composure, Jiang Xuening pushes back (thank goodness she's got a strong spine), and at their next meeting, he corrects himself. Or apologises and behaves better. It's nice to see; imperfect but striving.

And, he does have a soft side. It's rarely seen, and only ever for Jiang Xuening. Like the time when she's absolutely devastated following her 'break up' with Zhang Zhe. Xie Wei offers no judgement, just gentle words of comfort, and he holds her as she weeps helplessly.

(That's something I really adore about C-Dramas that is absolutely absent from Western 'romances' - there's a lot of holding; hugs and cuddles aplenty. As someone who loves hugs, this tickles the right spot for me)

Also, in addition to being possessive... which he strives to correct... he's protective, putting himself into extreme danger in order to try and keep her safe, and even injuring himself severely to spare her (not the same scene mentioned before where he's a complete psycho).

So he's not good. But he's good. You know?

Anyway, I just need to get that off my chest. I hate how non-consensual kissing is portrayed in this drama, all while lapping it up like a twit.

Anyway, even though I am so conflicted about it, I really actually do love this drama so much, and I highly recommend it.

Right, good chat. I'm off now.

Slán go foill!

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